Vending Machine Vexation
by EverlastingImmortalTwilight
Summary: Why is there a vending machine on the meteor? Dave and Karkat find out.


I asked for prompts on Tumblr: person A was trying to get chips out of a vending machine and when they didn't come out they stick their hand up and get stuck. hours later, person B finds them and tries to help.

\- START -

The real question was not, "Why is there a vending machine on the meteor?" No, the real question was, "Why are there Earth snacks in the vending machine on the meteor?"

No, seriously.

Why the fuck were there Earth snacks in the vending machine on the meteor?

More importantly, why were the Doritos imprisoned behind glass like common criminals? This was a tragedy. And it wasn't even ironic.

Dave's eyes narrowed. Somebody would pay for this. Hopefully soon, since he really needed some change to get those Doritos.

He hadn't had any money in his possession since the session started, if you don't count boonbucks. Nobody counts boonbucks, those things are worthless. Because they don't work in this vending machine.

Dave eyed the machine thoughtfully. There had to be some other way to get the chips out of there without actually putting in money he didn't have. Maybe if he…

Dave slammed his shoulder against the machine, rocking it slightly. Nothing happened at first, but after a few more tries one of the bags of Doritos shifted and started to fall.

"Hell yeah!"

"No, fuck!"

The chips had gotten stuck about halfway down, lodged against a bag of pretzels that was sticking out more than necessary. Stupid fucking pretzels. Nobody likes you.

The Doritos had made some progress, though. They were much closer to the bottom than they had been. Maybe even within arm's reach. He could probably just…

…just get his arm stuck in the vending machine. That's what he could do.

"Gog dammit!"

Dave considered his options. He could yell for help. Hell no, that's so not cool. It's not even ironically uncool. Just no.

There didn't seem to be a lot of other options, honestly. Surely he could wiggle himself out of this on his own…

\- Four Hours Later -

"…fucking Doritos…"

"…a VENDING MACHINE? REALLY?"

"…never gonna let me live this down…"

Was that… Dave? Karkat rounded a corner and came to an abrupt halt.

"Uh… Strider?"

Dave's head whirled around to look at Karkat. Dave was sitting on the ground next to a vending machine, his arm inside the slot. It almost looked like he was… blushing?

Dave brought the hand not inside the machine up to scratch his head. "Oh, hey, what's up, Vantas?"

Karkat moved closer, standing right over Dave. "I feel like I should be asking you that question, fuckass. Did you get your arm stuck inside that thing?"

"Maybe."

Karkat huffed. "Come on, nook sniffer, how long have you been here?"

"I may or may not have been sitting here for four hours."

"FOUR HOURS?!"

Dave punched Karkat's leg lightly. "Shut up. It's ironic."

"Honestly, you're such a fucking idiot." Karkat knelt down next to Dave. "Scoot back as much as you can."

Dave frowned as he shifted backwards as much as his current position would let him. "Why, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing, fucker?" Karkat started to put his arm into the vending machine slot. "I'm getting you the fuck out of there."

"Ah, Karkat, I don't think-"

"Shut up, Dave, I know what I'm-"

"Fuck."

"FUCK."

"Well, this is cozy, Karkat."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, DAVE, I SWEAR TO GOG."

"…Karkat, could you just shift a little? Here, I'll help you."

"Dave. Dave, what are you doing? FUCK."

"Much better."

"Fuckass."

\- One Hour Later -

Vriska turned the corner and immediately started laughing. "Look, Terezi!"

Terezi turned to see Dave and Karkat slumped against a vending machine, fast asleep. They both had one arm stuck in the slot of the machine. Dave's legs were stretched out in front of him and Karkat was sitting on Dave's lap with his legs around Dave's waist. Their free arms were wrapped around each other and Dave's head was nestled under Karkat's chin.

Terezi cackled. "I'm definitely taking a picture of this."

\- END -


End file.
